What happens when a friendship is interrupted? How do you handle confrontation with a friend? How do you deal with a sensitive or hurtful situation without fear of ruining the relationship? In Friendship Interrupted, Judy Dippel and Debra Whiting Alexander deal openly with situations like these and so many more.
Judy offers these words about her book:
“Friendship Interrupted brings relief and clarity to challenges, suggesting changes and choices that can individually be made to mend and maintain valued friendships, or explains how to know when it may be best to simply “let go” and move on. The solutions offered help each woman know “what she can do” in her situation. It has a fresh, informed perspective that sheds new light on individual habits, actions and reactions, and those of others. This book inspires healthy relationships with each other and with God.”
Here are ten steps to healthy friendship confrontations found in one of Dippel’s chapters:
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First, pray and give thanks for your friend.
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Be clear about your feelings, motivations, and purpose before talking to the person.
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Pick a convenient, undistracted time and place that suits both of you.
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Commit to an honest discussion and agree to stay on track.
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Use statements that begin with “I…” instead of “you…” “I” statements minimize defensiveness and language that may sound or feel attacking.
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Be willing to listen to one another’s needs and perspectives without interruption.
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Repeat back to your friend what you hear them saying and vice versa. Check the accuracy of what you heard.
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Admit your part in the problem.
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Confront the problem, not your friend.
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Remind yourself that you cannot change other people, but you can change yourself. You don’t have to prove yourself right. Instead, you can agree to disagree. Sometimes it’s best to focus on reconciliation of the relationship rather than resolution of the problem. It’s great to have both when you can, but if that’s not possible, make it a goal to put the well-being of your relationship first.1
¹From Friendship Interrupted, (c) 2008, by Judy Dippel & Debra Whiting Alexander, Ph.D., Used by Permission.
Friendship Interrupted celebrates women’s friendships without shying away from the nitty gritty problems that can affect those relationships. The book offers practical solutions, combined with spiritual principles and sensitivity for women who are dealing with issues like loss, envy and competition, danger, betrayal, and differences that may emerge in any friendship relationship.
Book Giveaway
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How Have You Handled a Confrontation with a Friend?
