When Broken Becomes Whole
Photo by Gary Scott www.garyslens.ca
The disciples could not comprehend Jesus’ words at His Last Supper with them. For three years He had taught them, fed them, and lived with them, preparing them for such a time as this. When Jesus’ fingers broke the bread and passed it out to his chosen twelve, He was telling yet another story—a true one about to unfold before their eyes.
Little did they know what that “brokenness” would mean in their own future. Each one in his own way would be broken through death or persecution. But each one, except Judas, would be made whole because of Jesus’ own willingness to be broken on the cross in His sacrificial death.
At Easter, in communion, and all year long, we remember not only our Lord’s dear sacrifice through His blood and broken body; we celebrate our wholeness as well. For those who understand the principle of brokenness have already been made whole.
“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”Luke 22:19 NIV
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I have been thinking of this topic for two days now. The first day took me into some painful areas of thinking. It had to do with how I thought I felt about myself as a person. The thoughts were very negative. Yet, I believed in them so much as a child and into adulthood. I was able to be objective about the thoughts, did some writing about them and waited for a new day. Today, the thoughts are more positive.
I have been a Christian for awhile and live by the grace of God. HIs forgiveness for my sins has helped me face some very difficult things in my life and thus move on. God has taken me into some very hard places and I have often wondered just why he has taken me there. As I consider the concept of brokenness, I surely do understand the why of the journey God has led me on.
I remember writing in my journal several years ago that God was peeling layers of skin, similar to an onion, from my being. Those layers would be the defenses, the things I used as protection, beliefs, etc. Sometimes were downright so painful all I could do was sleep to get away or to cope. It is interesting that the sleep wasn;t really a diversion but I need to rest as I did find my body to be so tired and in need of rest. This process has been long and I recently wrote in my journal that I felt like I was in many broken pieces, yet I had no real desire to try to put them back together. I just had to be.
Now comes the thoughts on wholeness. All those broken pieces were not who I really am. They are the old self. Somewhere amidst all the brokenness was my new self and I had to be so careful not to take on the broken pieces again. To my surprise, as I began to look at the new self, I found I didn’t like some of what i saw. I didn’t understand that. For example, there is a man who just went through a serious medical emergency. I had no desire to send him a card. There was a definite boundary to this and it is very inconsistent to what I might have done before. I always gave of my time, concern etc. But now, I don’t have that urge. Right now, I have a lot of thing going on in my own family and with my own health. Perhaps I have just enough energy to invest in those that are really close to me. All this is a new way of thinking and I am sure it isn’t written in stone.
Wholeness is shedding the old ways and living as your true identity or self. I read an article that suggested conformity is a big thing to shed. When I considered conformity in my life, as I live expressing my new self, I can ruffle a few feathers because I would never say anything for fear of causing problems. I have to challenge the old ways that will scream to have me take them back. But I won’t because I have chosen the path of Christ and he asks that I leave them behind and to follow Him.
As I said in the beginning, the cross made it all possible. Besides forgiveness, it brings integration of my being and thus, new life in the risen Christ. This integration of my soul is the wholeness offered by Christ. It is my challenge.
I have been thinking about what I said above regarding not having the desire to send a neighbor a card after his serious medical emergency. I not it sounded callous. Yet, there is a paradox in that because I have always had a strong codependent side to me. As I listened to that boundary I also prayed for clarity. This morning I sense God was leading me to still not send a card but, instead, call. So I did and I had a wonderful talk with this man’s wife. I am glad I waited for God’s direction. I wondered, at first, if the desire not to send a card was Satan trying to lead me astray, but I now know God had other plans in mind. Waiting upon the Lord is so important. God brings us New Life.
Peggy, thanks for sharing your testimony and journey of brokenness and wholeness. I appreciate your comments. God is always changing us, moving us forward. And yes, waiting on the Lord is truly important.
Hello Rebeca, I think that I may have written to you before, near the begining of 2008 I was diagnosed as having bipolor, I also have an anxitiy disorder, and at times struggle with depression. These are some of the large stones in my life. There are times that I function quite well, and at other times, I struggle, more offen then not I love to sing and worship My LORD and my God. I have to admit that there was a time here recently that I became very angrey with
God. In a way that was rather scary, who am I to be angrey with my creater? Yet He showered me with love, forgivness and comfort. I felt Him say that His grace was abundant enough for me.
I may never get total healing this side of heaven, BUT I have a savior and friend who promises to be with me every step of the way.
And He hurts when I hurt, and he draws me close to Himself, and carryes me until the night passes by. —- Sue
Thanks, Sue, for stopping by and sharing your testimony.
I truly understand,so many people are broken by may things in their lives and it’s a dark place and you wonder if you’ll ever make it out. Only when we come to Jesus He is the only one who can take our broken pieces and make us whole again. It reminds me of Humpty Dumpty, all the kings horseman and all the kings men could not put humpty together again. I know a man name Jesus who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly all that we could ask or even think.
Margaret, you are so right about Jesus being the one who can make us whole again. Thanks for sharing those encouraging words.