When Can Silence Hurt?

January 25, 2010

Most of us have heard that silence is golden. But sometimes silence can hurt.

We held one of those infamous garage sales at our home recently–the kind where you clean out closets, drag out forgotten things from under beds, and purge the garage of stacked “stuff” that won’t fit into your house. It’s always fun to meet interesting people who stop by to view your wares. Occasionally, they’ll stay long enough to share personal stories.

This sale was no exception. An attractive boomer-age woman who came by told us of an experience that happened to her mother years earlier. This is my paraphrase of her story: 

Her mom had just moved to a large metropolitan area and was hoping to meet and make friends in her new home. She joined several organizations, including a local church. But no one would befriend her. No one even spoke to her.

Is it my deodorant? My clothes? The way I talk? A hundred questions raced through her mind, but she found no answers. Women seemed to avoid her as if she had a contagious disease. No one spoke to her or invited her to their home. Read more